Hearts and Daggers
by DisenchantedHeartache
Summary: The Hero of Ferelden, Kallian, joins the Inquisition and is faced with issues from her past mixed with the problems of the present.
1. Joining the Inquisition

The inquisition was real now. Everything was happening and after the events of Haven, she wasn't surprised that she'd been called to Skyhold to assist.

WHen she arrived, she couldnt help but notice how massive the fortress was. NOr could she fathom how something so big could simply be lost. She'd become reaccustomed to living in the alienage again. After becoming Hero of Ferelden, Kallian was pardoned from her crimes against the former Arl's son. She'd also been working diligently on elven rights in a world ruled by humans. Though she'd left the King to return to her people, she was luckily met with no resistance in her efforts. Yet, there was a longing she felt to return and a growing hatred for Alistair who had taken their son from her the moment he was born. She hadn't seen Duncan in going on seven years, and she still remembered his cries as Alistair's guards ripped him from her arms. He hadn't even been man enough to come get him himself.

She walked around Skyhold's grounds making her way to the main hall to greet the inquisitor. She hadn't been paying attention when she bumped into a tall, masculine figure.

"My apologies." She muttered as she watched the figure turn.

It was him. All these years and he still looked the same as before. "No worri.." Alistair cut himself off at the sight of her. His face didnt harden as she would have expected. Instead she saw sorrow. "Kallian." He said in a deeper tone.

"Your majesty." She curtsied to him.

He grabbed her lightly by the arm and pulled her to the stables. Once comfortably away from wandering eyes he changed his expression again to one of glee. How could he be so glad to see her when she was anything but?

"I'd written you. Sent you updates on Duncan, yet you never replied." Alistair said. His eyes told her he wasn't lying. After all this time she could still read him. "He's here."

Her eyes widened. "He's here? In Skyhold?"

"Yes. Do you want to see him? He's been hanging on to Cullen's coattail."

She shook her head and looked down. Of course she wanted to see him. She wanted nothing more, but would he even know her?

"I've told him about you. He can't go anywhere without hearing tales of the Hero of Ferelden. He boasts in private about you being his mother."

She snapped her head back up to him. "Have you told him why I haven't been around? Have you told him that your men ripped him from my arms, Alistair? Or have you just let me be the mother that abandoned him?"

He looked away then.

"What lie did you weave to him? What lies did you feed him to make yourself look better?" Her voice was louder than anticipated. She backed away from him.

He looked her in the eye. His shimmered with tears he was trying to conceal. "I told him you were away because you had important work to do. I told him one day you'd be able to return to us." His voice was almost a whisper. His hand found hers; he was gripping it tightly. "I asked you to come home in every letter," he stepped closer to her, yet he hesitated when she shifted in her stance. "I made a mistake when I took him. I was angry, maybe not rightfully so, but I acted harshly." He finished his step and looked down at her. Her eyes were the deepest green he had seen. For a moment he had forgotten how beautiful she was. "I could never apologize enough for what I did to you, but I've wanted to the chance to try. Let me try." He whispered, his lips now against hers ever so lightly.

She closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. "Nothing will change, Alistair." She released his hand and stepped back, watching as he straightened himself again.

"You should give me a chance to prove it." He half smiled at her.

She shook her head. "I don't think I could survive that a second time, darling." She took a deep breath. "I'll find you when I'm ready to see Duncan." She turned and walked down the stairs, allowing herself one tear and willing herself to not look back.

She made her way to the Main Hall to greet Inquisitor Lavallen. She'd corresponded with the Lavallen clan on many occasions to research how their interactions with humans compared to her own. Niallan had been one of the clans best hunters and she wasn't surprised that she had been at the Conclave.

Niallan was near her throne when she spotted Kallian. "Well, if it isn't the Hero of Ferelden. An honor." Niallans voice boomed through the hall. Soon, all eyes were on her. She heard the whispers from the people she passed, making her way to Niallan.

"Inquisitor. An honor as well."

"Inquisitor, a moment?" A voiced popped in.

Niallan looked to Josephine and back to Kallian. "Duty calls. Forgive me, Kallian. Perhaps we can meet later."


	2. Reuinions

Kallian found her way to her quarters where her bags had been stored for her. Her interaction with Alistair had her needing a moment. She made her way to the stairs leading to the courtyard. She stood where she could see most of the happenings in Skyhold.

She saw a small group of recruits training. She could see a man with his back to her watching them. She looked to the side of him to see a smaller body standing close with a wooden sword drawn. The boy turned and looked up at her. He dropped his sword on sight. It was Duncan. She knew him instantly.

Duncan tugged Cullen's coat and pointed to Kallian. "Is that my mommy?" He asked, excitement beginning to spread across his face.

Cullen turned and looked behind him. He could recognize her fiery red hair anywhere, "I do believe it is." He waved to her.

She watched as they waved to her. Cullen motioned for her to come down, but the boy was already running toward the stairs. She felt a warmth fall over her body. She began running down the stairs to him almost as if he were pulling her. They met each other on the last step. She immediately bent to catch him in her arms. He ran full force into her, holding on to her as if letting go meant she would disappear.

She clung to him as tightly as he to her.

"Daddy said you would come back to us one day." Her muffled into her arm.

"I'm so sorry I didn't come back sooner, my love." She kissed the top of his head. "I'm not leaving anymore."

He pulled back from her, his hands still clutching her shoulders. She just stared at him. He had his fathers eyes. So warm and comforting.

"Promise?" He smiled widley at her.

"I promise." He let go of her then and she stood. She smiled to Cullen. "Its nice to see you again, Commander. How have you been?"

He nodded to her. "You as well, Kallian. We've had better days, but small things remind you what to fight for." He looked down at Duncan.

"I hope he hasn't given you any trouble." She said apologetically.

"Not at all. You've got a great boy there. He's welcome anytime." He smiled down to him. "Enjoy spending time your mom. She's pretty great."

Duncan smiled and pressed himself onto her leg.

They found themselves walking the battlements, Duncan going on and on about all of his interests. She was thrilled to learn all of these things. They came across a familiar face. She stopped them and Duncan looked up to her. "Just a moment, darling." She said letting his hand go.

"Hero?" Hawke said as he watched her come down the steps toward him.

"Champion." She stated, smiling when she closed their gap. "Whats happened?"

"Its the wardens." He said. "Something is wrong. They've all gone missing, save for you, Alistair, Blackwall, and Stroud."

She hadn't heard anything from her fellow Grey Wardens now that she thought about it. "And where is Stroud?" She asked.

"Crestwood. Its where the inquisitor is headed next."

"Good. I'll accompany you." She said mater of factly.

"It'll be good to have you and Alistair out there." He nodded.

She looked back to Duncan. "It was good to see you, Hawke." And she ascended the stairs to her son.

"Daddy says he has to leave with that man." Duncan started.

"Yeah, I do too. Some very important people are in trouble and we have to find them." She told him.

"I know you will. You're the hero. Everyone tells stories about you. How you saved everyone. You're good at saving people." He smiled at her.

She bent down to be face to face with him. "I will come back though. I will always come back." She kissed his forehead.


	3. Capture

The grey wardens were being used. They were turning into demons and using blood magic. It was time to storm adamant and get to the bottom of it all. They were able to save few wardens along the way.

She was up in the battlements, helping clear the way for Cullen's men. Suddenly she was alone and out numbered. She began swinging her daggers hitting as many as she could, but it wasn't enough. She tried to run but was caught with a throwing knife in her leg. She stopped and another was thrown into her arm. She was caught from behind and a knife to her throat.

"I know who you are." The raspy voice behind her boomed. "You'll be a great gift." He ran the blade into her other shoulder, preventing her from using her arms to fight. She kept kicking and trying to free herself. The man hit her from behind, causing the world to go black.

"What do you mean 'she's missing'" Niallan yelled at Leiliana.

"I'm sorry inquisitor. She wasn't among the dead or wounded. We no longer know the whereabouts of the Hero of Ferelden."

Niallan sighed and hung her head. "Put everyone you can spare on finding her."

"Yes, inquisitor." Leiliana began working diligently.

Niallan returned to the main hall where she was greeted by Alistair.

"Is it true?" He asked her harshly.

"Your majesty." She curtsied. "We have every available person looking for her."

"I want updates on all leads. I will head the searches myself."

"Commander Cullen..."

He quickly cut her off, "This is personal Niallan. I will be going."

"What if you don't like what you find, Ser?" She asked in a whisper.

"Then at least I won't have to wait." He turned and left her then.

Kallian woke in an unnaturally hot room. There was a bright red huque all around her. She tried to move, but her hands were chained to the wall above her head. She heard the door open and saw a man walk toward her. He was holding a bottle in his had that glowed as the lyrium did.

"You're awake. Good. I won't have to force this down you." He grinned evily at her. He pushed himself close to her, pressing her against the wall. "Open your mouth." He rose the bottle to her. She closed her mouth tightly and took a shot to his manhood with her knee. He slunk backwards. When he did she grabbed hold of the chains to steady herself and kicked him in the head. He dropped the bottle; both clamoring to the ground. He was too far away for her to strike again. She noticed the bottle rolling toward her. She lifted herself on the chains and slammed down, the bottle crunching under her feet.

"You knife-ear bitch. I'll kill you for that." He stood slowly and unsheathed a dagger. He ran toward her, but she swung herself far enough left that he missed her. Her shoulder shot pains through her body, but she couldn't stop now. She let her body slam into his causing the dagger to drop and him to stumble. He hadn't lost his ground yet. He moved to her quickly. Grabbing her by the throat and slamming her backwards. His grip tightened and she let a small yelp of pain escape her lips. She used the last of her energy to snake her leg between his and swipe his left leg from under him. He fell once more to the ground.


	4. Rescue

"Enough." Boomed an unknown voice. "You've had your fun. Leave." He spoke to the man, but left his eyes on her. He moved closer to them.

He was wearing armor unlike any she'd seen. Her heart was pounding. Her body racked with pain. She wasn't sure she would hold up to another fight. She didn't have it in her.

"We know who took her. We simply have to find them." Leiliana reported.

"Easier said than done." Cullen interjected.

"How long?" Niallan asked. She ignored Cullen's remarks about the fate of Kallian, much like she'd been doing every night since she went missing.

"Hard to say, inquisitor. It could be weeks. Maybe more." Leiliana answered.

"That isn't good enough." Niallan snapped. She sighed. "When we find her, his majesty leads."

"That isn't wise. I should go." Cullen protested. "He has training sure, but this is less important than running the country should something happen."

"You don't get to decide importance, Commander." Alistair's voice came up from the shadows of the room.

"Your majesty. Forgive me." Cullen bowed. "I simply feel..."

"I didn't ask how you felt. And I didn't ask to accompany. I told. And I'm telling you. I will not wait for news of her safety. I will ensure it." Alistair stood tall at the war table. He turned his gaze to Leiliana. "I know you can do better than weeks. Make it days." He didn't wait for her reply before leaving.

She was dying. She felt it. They gave her only enough to keep her alive. She had no strength. Day by day her shoulders became dislocated. Her legs pained from standing.

She'd been forced at least four bottles of lyrium. They were giving her slow doses. She knew she was beginning to change, and began to hope for death with every beat of her heart. Duncan's face ran through her mind. Her promise to return to him broken.

She heard movement in the darkness. A dwarven body emerged. "Please, ser. The Inquisition sent me." The woman crept to her, reaching up to unlock the chains.

A tear streamed down kallian's cheek. They hadn't forgotten her.

Her body feel to the ground, unable to catch itself.

"Can you walk?" The woman asked.

She nodded her head. She would walk. She had to walk. She got herself up with the help of the woman. "Who are you?"

"Harding, ser. We're getting you out."

She began walking, before she knew it she was running. Running to her freedom. When they were out she kept running. She ran into the wood line that surrounded the fortress. Harding was behind her.

She came to a stop when someone snatched her against waist. She began to fight, but she was pressed tightly against a body. A familiar body.

"Its alright. We have you." Alistair shushed into her hair.

She stopped fighting. She stopped standing. She simply stopped.

He held her tightly as he felt her body slink in his arms. He picked her up. Her legs limp over his arm and her head bobbing. He nodded to Cullen letting him know to have the men move out. They had come prepared for a war. Leiliana had insisted on sending in a spy in attempts to free her first. Harding jumped at the opportunity to be of use to the Hero. She felt she owed her that.

"Samson is in there." Cullen said.

"That is another fight, Commander. The templars will get what's coming to them." Alistair stated.


	5. Returning to Skyhold

They returned to Skyhold. The few mages they took with them barely keeping her alive.

Alistair was taking her to her quarters. All eyes watching them as they passed. Everyone made way.

"Mommy!" Duncan screamed from the side. Josephine tried to hold him back. Cullen came up beside her and picked him up.

Alistair didn't look at him.

He kept walking. Mages followed behind him. He laid her down when they reached her room and moved back letting the mages begin their work.

He waited in the courtyard. He needed some news.

"Your majesty." A mage approached and bowed. "She had multiple stab wounds. Dehydration, malnourished, but she's okay."

"Thank you." Alistair said before leaving the mage in the courtyard. He returned to her room where she laid bandaged and sleeping. She hadn't woken since they left the fortress. He sat on the bed next to her. "Maker. Please." He muttered to himself.

The next few days were no better. He had returned to Duncan finally. Day and night he consoled the boy. The boy who wept for a mother he'd only known for a moment.


	6. Duncan

Duncan made his way through the corridors, sneaking past anyone still awake. He had left his father silently. He had to see her.

He pushed the door open slowly and quietly. He crept to her bed trying hard not to wake her. He put his hands on the edge of the bed to hold him taller. He looked over what he could see of his mother. He had never seen anything like this before, and he was terrified. But she was his mother and he loved her more than the fear dwelling inside of him. He climbed onto the bed and laid next to her, reaching his small hand to hers. He grabbed her fingers and he felt her hand slightly tighten to his. "You promised." He said before drifting to sleep.

A mage, Dorian, found him the next morning. Still sleeping next to Kallian.

"Nice to see you awake. His majesty will be pleased." He smiled to her.

Kallian was sitting up in her bed. She slowly and very painfully placed her finger over her lips. Dorian nodded in understanding and quietly placed at potion on her bedside and left.

She looked down at her sleeping son. His perfect features bathed in the light of morning. Hair as blonde as his Father's, but if the sun landed just right, her fiery red would show through. A perfect mixture.

The door opened drawing her attention from Duncan. Alistair walked in, disbelief on his face. He lowered himself onto her bedside, his back to Duncan's head. He hung his head but for a moment before caressing her cheek and pulling her carefully in. He placed his lips on hers and met no resistance. She gently rose her arm to his and placed her hand on his forearm. He ended the kiss and placed his forehead to hers.

"You came back." He whispered.

"I made a promise."

He kissed her again.

Her body exploded. Her heart racing as it did the first time she saw him. She thought these feelings had been lost, though they were merely hidden.

"Don't leave me again." He commanded.

"I..."

He kissed her again. Desperate not to hear her reject him again.


	7. Recovery

Days turned into weeks. Soon she was back on her feet. Yet, something was still off. She felt more powerful than before. She had refused to speak of what happened to her. She tried to forget. She begged those capable to help her forget; no one was willing.

"With the left this time." Cullen commanded. He'd noticed shed been favoring her right arm, though prior her left had been the strongest.

He watched her hit the mannequin with her left dagger. She missed her target completely. He watched her bend slightly clamping her stomach.

"What's the matter?" He asked moving to her side. Then he noticed her hands. They were shaking. "They gave you lyrium." He whispered, lowering his head.

"I'm fine." She stated, straightening herself.

"How many vials?" He asked her.

She shook her head. "Bottles." She corrected. "I lost count after four."

He looked at her. Shock written in his eyes. He had never had a connection to her. Truth be told, he didn't like her very much. "What's been happening to you?" He asked.

"Nightmares. Worse than what I'm used to. This," she held her hand out to show him the shaking, "started about a week ago. A few other things. Manageable."

"Its withdrawal. Why didn't you tell anyone you were fed lyrium?" He growled.

She shrugged. She wasn't sure either. She just knew she wanted to forget. "I dream of them, all the time."

He nodded. He dreamed of the worst now when he slept. "You need help. Let me help you."

She shook her head. "Once you talk, everyone will."

"I'll be descriet. You have my word."

She sighed and nodded. "Alright, Cullen. But we continue to train. No matter how bad I get."

He shook his head. "I can't promise that."

"The answer is no then. Thank you, commander." She began to walk away when he caught her arm.

"Fine. Fine, I forgot how stubborn you are." He agreed.

"Good. Again." She replied lifting her daggers to the mannequin.


End file.
